Monday, September 26, 2011

The Deer That Saw My Soul

At this very moment, I am being judged by a lawn ornament. I know what you're all thinking: lawn ornaments are probably the last things in the world that should be judging people.

But it's true. Just look for yourself.
Scary isn't it? When I woke up only little over an hour and half ago, I did not anticipate having my hairstyle and clothing choices looked down upon by a foam deer.

And it's very judgmental.

You can't really get the full effect without being in my place.

It knows things. About me.

Now that I've sufficiently spooked myself and worried people over my sanity, let's get down to the real business at hand...





Zombies!

I have a feeling that this topic will attract a few bloggy friends of mine, or at least one. Anyway, I've been reading World War Z for the past two weeks (I know; it shouldn't take me that long to read a normal sized book, but since I don't have time to read, I'm excused just this once.)

Suffice it to say, I'm completely mesmerized by the Zombiepocalypse and I've even taken things to an extreme.

That's only a portion of how ready I am.

Just kidding, but really, I'm so obsessed with being ready for the zombie attack that I'm even attending a Zombie Multimedia Presentation! next month that's being presented by a zombie expert. Yes. I'm going to be prepared.

I'm not going to get eaten, that much I can assert with some confidence. I've been biking regularly and now have enough leg endurance to be quite satisfied with my ability to outrun/out-bike a zombie hoard intent on devouring my flesh.

Come and get me you undead fiends! I will smash out your brains with a shovel and then bike away into the murky, smoke-hidden sunset. And then climb a really tall tree to sleep in so I won't get bitten/eaten while the un-sleeping, virus-ridden creatures attempt to maul me and turn me into one of them.

Parting words:
"Constant vigilance!" --Alastor "Mad-Eye" Moody
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6 comments:

  1. When you think about it, you don't have to outrun the zombies....just anyone else you might be surrounded with.

    Should be someone with a little more meat on their bones, that way it'll keep the zombies busy for a little while. You can always run to Canada: we're Zombie-free!

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  2. Haha! So true!

    However, according to World War Z, Canada is not zombie free, they just have a longer season when the zombies are frozen. :)

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  3. It seems to me you just need to hire the deer. Can't you see the zombies wilting under that stare? :)

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  4. Alas, the owner/thief came and took the deer away. Just when I was starting to feel like we were beginning to see eye-to-eye...

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  5. So was the deer in your room? And you should totally share your findings on the presentation with us.

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  6. No. A student gave the deer to one of my cohorts and it was in the lab when I came into work yesterday morning.

    I am so excited about the presentation though. Here's the link to the Facebook event page. I'm gonna buy the book too.

    Also, as an update between today and yesterday, I finished World War Z. At last. And it was epic.

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