Monday, April 11, 2011

City of Fallen Angels, And How I Lost My Mind (Spoilers!)

Cover of "City of Fallen Angels (Mortal I...Cover via AmazonI repeat: SPOILER ALERT!!

First, I'd like to say a sad farewell to my sanity. It was nice while it lasted. I hope we can still be friends. Maybe I'll text you a few times a month to check on you. It only seems polite.

Second, I just finished City of Fallen Angels by Cassandra Clare.

...

WTF!!! I don't often use such strong acronyms, but Holy Publishing Industry!! I can't hold it in!!

Why are you acting so messed up towards the fourth installment in the Mortal Instruments series, Bailey?

Haha, funny you should ask, neighbors of mine, but I have a few good reasons, and none of them contributed to my sanity remaining in the same zip code as myself.

(SPOILER ALERT!! JUST IN CASE YOU DIDN'T BELIEVE ME THE FIRST TIME!!)

When I first clapped eyes on City of Bones, I was like, "Well this looks pretty awesome. I bet I'll like it." I was right. I'm hardly ever wrong about that sort of thing, except of course for the times I am, which is another series of stories all-together. But back to my past.

Oh how much I wish I could go back in time, slap my younger self, and say, "You better be careful what you wish for Younger Me. There'll be some heartache for you in the future. So put on your big girl panties if you wanna ride this roller coaster."

Of course, if that had actually happened, I'm pretty sure me and my sanity would have parted ways much sooner. As it is, my roommate is seriously alarmed at me at this moment, because as soon as I read the last four pages of the book (SPOILER!) I immediately shrieked like the banshee my parents always said I was, and screamed, "WTF! I'm not reading this! It can't be happening! WTF!" And a few other expletives that don't have nice little acronyms that I feel like typing.

Anyway, (as you can see I'm only using emotional SPOILERS) I freaked. Up until those four pages I was okay with the book. I'd even recommended it to one of my coworkers who had read the others in the series. She saw me reading it and asked me if it was new and I was all, "Yeah, and it's pretty good too. You should read it."

And she said she would.

GOOD GRIEF!! DON'T READ IT TAYLOR!! You'll only have your heart ripped out of your chest and then flung in your face like trash...

If I could type my tears, I would. I just have this one thing to ask Cassandra Clare:

Why...why for the love of Sweet Baby Jesus did you have to end it like that? Do you not know that your readers like having the bad guys die and stay dead? We LIKE it. A lot. In fact, I would like to venture to say that I LOVE it. (Okay, I know that was two things, but can you blame me?)

I also love the love in the books. Especially the love between Jace and Clary. Now, I know you have to keep us hooked, and goodness knows I won't be able to stand waiting for the next book so I can find out if you finally kill the little bastard. But please...please, I'm begging you. Just don't do it again.

I don't think my roomie could take another scaring like she had a few minutes ago. I'm pretty sure she's never heard me cuss before, and the shock might have jarred her immune system. If she gets a cold, it's on you Cassandra. I'll send her doctor's bill in your general direction.

That's it. I'm done. I can't take this anymore.

I need some aspirin and a whole box of chocolate, STAT.

If this hasn't scared you away from City of Fallen Angels, then you are truly a worthy reader. I admire your courage. Go read, you little self-harming people you. Read like there's no tomorrow.

Which there isn't.

Because City of Fallen Angels ended my existence as I knew it.

And that may or may not be a good thing about the book. Or a testament to Clare's skillz. With a z. I gotta end this post. It's trying to take over my blog. 
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2 comments:

  1. I was yelling through the final pages too. We should start a support group.

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  2. Glad to know I wasn't the only one. Seriously though, I lost all faith in the power of Good because of those four stinking pages. That was one of those moments in time where I seriously wished I could read myself into a book (Inkheart style) and then beat the spit out of the characters.

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