Funny, You Say?

I know what you're thinking. This is the second blog hop I've done this week. Not what you were thinking? Oh well. I'm about to get to the funny stuff. Or so you hope.

So, Cassie Mae over at Reading, Writing, and Lovin' it! is hosting her first ever blog hop and it's pretty much as far up my alley as you can go. Not only does it have an embarrassed polar bear as the picture, but flushing is something I do quite well. Take that as you will.

Now, there is a prize involved for those who participate. A $10 Amazon gift card! (Go click over to her page to find out more about that!) You don't think I'd write embarrassing stories about myself just for the heck of it, do you? Oh, you do? Well, you may have something there.

Here's how it will go:

Write a short story about an embarrassing experience one of your characters went through, or if your characters are so perfect that they never do anything embarrassing (lucky them), tell us something from your own life that left you blushing like a little boy threatened with cooties on the playground. 

Now, I'm not in the habit of writing about my characters' misdeeds, so I think I may just regale you folks with a story from the vault of my childhood. Goodness knows I have plenty of embarrassing memories.

Let's go back in time...

"You can't have popcorn for lunch," she said firmly.  

"But--but--but I want popcorn! I don't want a hotdog!" the little girl cried and pressed herself further into the rocking Lazy-Boy. She thought that if she pressed hard enough, maybe the chair would swallow her up. That would teach her mother for not letting her eat popcorn for lunch.  

"Stop whining and come eat your lunch," her mom repeated. "Bailey, look at me. You can't just eat popcorn for lunch. I'm going to tell Dad when he gets home..." 

That announcement only made the blond girl even more upset. She knew her dad would spank her if she kept disobeying her mom. But she couldn't stop. Not now. Too much was at stake. She wanted that popcorn. 

"NOOOO!" Bailey shrieked. "Don't tell Daddy!"  

"Bailey...look at me," her mom said in reply.  

Bailey didn't look up, but continued to cry shakily into the Lazy-Boy's green exterior. It wasn't fair. It's not like she was asking to have candy for lunch.  

"Bailey...Bailey....look at the camera." 

Oh no. She wouldn't...and yet, Bailey looked up almost against her own will. Her mom was videoing her.  

"Moooooom! Don't video me!" Bailey started sobbing once more, and wished again that the chair would swallow her whole, like the whale did Jonah. "Mom...mom...it's not fair..." 

The scene fades into gray and white static and then switches to another home video, but someone hits pause. On the watching side of the television screen, people of all ages are laughing at my younger self. I'm one of them, but it still stings. My Dad is wiping tears of laughter from his face and my siblings are probably dying. I can't tell if their spasms and red faces are something I should be worried about or not. But hey, what's family for except to laugh at you and teach you to laugh at yourself? Even when you don't think it's that funny. 

Yes. That's an actual event. Every time I acted like a complete brat when I was growing up, my Mom and Dad would whip out this VHS and play it or threaten to play it. I'd stop doing whatever I was doing and change my tune. I'm embarrassed just thinking about how red my face was in that video. I had some major lungs on me too at age six.

Alrighty, that's enough me time. Now, let's get to hopping!